āif u want an autograph make one yourself lolā āBjork
š¦Ŗ CONTENTS
This issue, I reinvent my newsletter and lean into the peculiar state of feeling good in turbulent timesā¦
- In my feelings, in my life
- A prayer for you
- Channeled tarot downloads
- True hearts tarot spread
- New on Kinky Tarot
- Enter Mariaworld
- My astro season toolkit
- Links for babe angels
- Five sensual gratitudes
- Currently reading
š« IN MY FEELINGS, IN MY LIFE
Every newsletter begins with a tiny anecdote, story, or revelation from my inner world and an invitation for you: in my feelings, in my life.
Here is a new home. Hereā¦ yes, right here! Since 2017, Since 2017, Iāve processed spectrums of joy and trauma through tarot in this newsletter, and itās a massive honor to have this warm, caring, receptive, and curious audience. Who could have known Iād find such healing in confessing to a Waning Moon Newsletter? Iāve met some of my favorite people here after bearing my soul, pleasure, questions, and heart-full moments. What a gift! What a joy! Thank you for being here!
Yes, I left Substack because dumpster fire. But also, it never quite felt like the right place for me. The interface irked me, and I didnāt love feeling like I was posting to a blog rather than sending emails directly to your inboxes. I donāt know most of you personally, but writing on Substack did feel less personal. Now that Iām here, Iām floating in a sea of new ideas and inspiration, and Iām thinking about writing more often!
Last week I finished my last class with the brilliant David Crabb about embodying characters. Iāve actually been taking improv comedy classes this year, solely for fun and making good on my promise to incorporate more play in my life! This was the first class Iāve taken with my fiance (Yes, fiance! More on that later!) andā¦ I was honestly a bit nervous after signing up on a whim. Iām someone whoās more comfortable speaking in front of a crowd than in 1:1 scenarios, but, I donāt know, I just didnāt know if I could loosen up performing in front of my comedian partner! I ended up being too excited to think about what I looked like, and I was stunned to hear my love repeatedly comment on how āridiculously hilariousā I am! It made me think: Where am I compartmentalizing? And how could I grow my relationships by revealing other sides of myself? Iām asking you the same thing:
Whatās a relationship you have that could become closer, more expansive with a bit more vulnerability? Where are you safe to go further? Who would be grateful to see a different side of you?
š A PRAYER FOR YOU
dusk, liminalā
āthe nightjarās feather quivers
and
your holy door
sings,
foreshadowing
or remembering
š® CHANNELED TAROT DOWNLOADS
HEART-SWELLING IN THESE TIMES
Gently, the Sun card sings, āWhat makes you feel alive?ā Theyāre not asking for themselvesātheyāre asking for you. This archetype is complete presence, embodied consciousness. And being present in and being conscious of what fuels your spirit is psychic protection against collective energies of harm, as the Sun is all about the whole. Key 19 conjures rebirth, and we creatively rebirth ourselves every time we remember what it means to truly feel alive.
What makes me feel alive? Love, scalp rubs, kitty purrs, clouds, soft blankets, joyā¦ ah, yes, joy. Part of the Sun cardās magic is that its upright themesāsuch as, creativity, inner child relationships, authenticity, solar energy, confidence, eroticism, vitality, and playācan still be present, even if the card is reversed. Yes, even if the Sun is hiding behind the clouds.
Shame can be a cloud that obscures the Sun archetype. Yet, the Sun can be its own revealer when itās here to help us release shame. Shame is such a curious thing. Of course, we feel shame when weāve disappointed ourselves or others. But sometimes we experience it even when weāre living in alignment.
You know it, I know it: Weāve long lived in a world where oppressors kill, abduct, suppress speech, and otherwise violate human beings. Anyone who asks āHow did we get here?ā lives in an ideological shack underneath a rock. While the harm has long been here, itās only recently that itās become nearly impossible to ignore it all. How can one be aware of constant systemic brutality and still feel immense, indescribable joy? Is there a way to feel genuine bliss without a distinct flavor of survivorās guilt?
Is it a shameful thing to feel ecstasy while knowing the truth?
Every morning I pray to the Shekinah my gratitude for what makes me feel alive. And every morning I speak of my joie de vivre. I donāt feel bad about it; I remember when praying meant begging. But I canāt pretend it hasnāt ever been uncomfortable. Since I last wrote you, Iāve done immense and intense work around reconciling my awareness of structural abuse with the fact that Iām the happiest Iāve ever been.
Iām being quite literalāI never, ever knew I could feel this good. And Iām not alone. Iāve had many conversations recently with people also grappling with feeling pleasure when so many people canāt. Thereās survivorās guilt. Thereās paranoia over offending or annoying people with oneās happiness. Thereās the question of whether joy distracts us from the work of creating more ideal futures.
Yet every time, we resolve to accept that being present for joy is self-preservation when the world needs us to be here, to be present, to be alive. And truly being alive is truly feeling alive. To feel bad about feeling good is to be a martyr for nothing. Shame doesnāt move movements.
The Sun looks at the bright side, but doesnāt spiritually bypass their ābadā feelings to do so. They notice it all, and never downplay whatās worth celebrating.
Feeling joy is to intimately relate to Sun card themes we seek for oppressed people around the world: contentment, laughter, play, expression, and connection. When we know what weāre looking for, itās clearer how to get there.
In resisting shame in joy, Iām sharing four happinesses in four updates:
ā
Iām engaged to my dream guy!
A friend told us that being engaged is a sexy relationship status, and Iām feeling it! In June, my easiest yes landed in the middle of a spontaneous improv game with my fiance. While our love has run deep for a long time, I always chuckle when I think about how we endured a lot of the āthe hard stuffā early in our relationship. Now communicative ease flows as we take care of ourselves and each other, trust each otherās positive intentions, and show up authentically. When I was a teenager, I thought relational security and safety would come with a ring. Iām so grateful that the ring came after for me. My engagement is a cherry on top, not the entire cake.
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Photo proof: Capybara dreams come true.
Yes, we live in a world where a capybara tried to eat my hair.
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Sometimes, death doesnāt feel like a goodbye.
āRandy was a friend, but more so, he was family. After his heart stopped for 20 minutes, I first wondered what itād be like to live in a world without him. I expected a lot of sadness, a time of grief. While we missed him (and still do) when he passed earlier this month, my partner and I settled into a peaceful optimism and renewed sense of purpose in making the world a better place, like he and his wife did for so long. When he was recently in the hospital, he could barely verbalize but mustered up the will to sing You Are My Sunshine with us and his wife. You canāt tell me thereās no good left in the world.
ā
Communes sing my name!
Last month, my partner and I skipped Burning Man but wanted to still have an outdoor adventure, so we drove north to an art farm. Quiet, dreamy. Our darling yurt was surrounded by so many genuine people from all over the world exchanging work/trade for boarding. It was a potent and timely reminder of how life could be: collaborative, welcoming, empathetic, interesting, āof natureā and not just āin nature.ā Iām again devoted to creating this kind of space and Iām traveling this fall to discover where it could be.
I thank the universe for the Sunās shameless thirst for life!
š TRUE HEARTS FREEBIE
This monthās True Hearts Freebie is your Romance Radical Boundaries in 28 Days guide!
In nuclear physics, 28 is a āmagic number,ā a number of nucleons that are arranged into complete shells within an atomic nucleus. Atomic nuclei with magic numbers of protons or neutrons are more stable than other nuclei. 28 is also the number of days in a lunation. 28 Days of Romancing Radical Boundaries is a daily guide to stabilizing boundaries through a lunar cycle. Use each prompt to pull a card, journal, discuss, or silently reflect on a boundary that youād like to solidify. Conjure the Four of Pentacles and protect your precious, magical energy.
š„µ NEW ON KINKY TAROT
Peek into my relationship with my kinky teacher!
How do I get my partner to do THAT? And where can I find someone to teach me how to do THIS? Join me and the Hierophant as we explore teacher kinks, finding kinky teachers, and my partnerās neurodivergent kink journey! Youāll find one of my little sex tricks if you listen close enoughā¦
And catch these fan-adored episodes while youāre at it!
- Iām On the Edgeā¦ with the Lovers with the Ensoulment Doula
- Radical Brats Drive Chariots with Lyndsay Jane
- Strength Bites with Hannah Levy
- The Hermit Ropes (and Suspends) Alone with Joyful
š ENTER MARIAWORLD
Iām speaking on tarot and activism at the Witch Summit in Phoenix this weekend! Use code āMariaā for 10% off, bbs
My doors are still open for Kinky Tarot guests!!! Sign up to chat with me, pls pls pls
š MY ASTRO TOOLKIT
Every month, I share some of the things, ideas, people, places, and memories that encourage me to be present in each astrological season and its themes. I hope that this list prompts you to create your own "toolkit" that you can reach toward whenever you want to ground in the current season. Here's what's in my bag for Libra season. What's in yours?
ā
Dreaming of cherimoya season, world building and exploring, Muji pens, vegan pandan ice cream, intentional dinnerware, Salkin barefoot boots, sharp left career decisions, reframing, low defenses, pottery dates, platonic hand holding, compromise over settling, everyday holiness, 5 am, rebalancing acupuncture, clarity is kindness, hypnotism minus my ex-hypnotist, consciousness theories, getting used to contentness, comedy class with my guy, reconciling realities, self-responsibility, rose quartz, orchid lattes, pale blue, life art, my boobs, costa rica, ājust because itās beautiful,ā charm, dancing near the veil, energetic contracts with myself, gravity, exploring Mubi and finding Grand Theft Hamletā
š LINKS FOR BABE ANGELS
š¬ A meditative experience for reading cares and doubts
š¤ Emoji use in real time, right now
š Canāt stop watching neurodivergent approved Taskmasterā
š The Mushroom Color Atlas is a new rabbit hole portal
šš¾ I require everyone who can to watch Katrina: Come Hell and High Water on Netflix
š Ever wonder what music is playing in other peopleās cars?
š Iāve heard the smell of this is awful, but
šš¾ Spuck, Spack, Spock, Speek
š§š¾āāļø FIVE SENSUAL GRATITUDES
šš¾ The smell of Cathedral Grove by Bathing Culture
š
The taste of root vegetables
š The sight of the shy neighborhood kitty
šš¾ The sound of autumnal wind
š¤²š¾ The feel of my partnerās breath on my skin
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āš¤³š¾Confess your sensual gratitudes to me at contact@mariaminnis.com!
In perpetual reinvention,
Maria
ā
Currently reading: There is No Place for Us: Working and Homeless in America by Brian Goldstone
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